1
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,100
Me coloca no chão!

2
00:01:09,621 --> 00:01:13,057
Oh, Blackie!

3
00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:15,916
Você é demais!

4
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:24,600
Querida, eu falo com ele.

5
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,400
Filho...

6
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,699
Sua mãe e eu gostaríamos que você

7
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,300
prestasse atenção no
filho dos Finkelstien...

8
00:01:31,301 --> 00:01:32,199
Ele é...

9
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,900
Ele é um garoto brilhante, está indo
para a escola militar... e...

10
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,500
Lembre-se, ele foi um escoteiro... e...

11
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:40,499
- Arnold!
- Você quer ficar quieta?

12
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,800
- É que...
- Nós não vamos ter uma discussão!

13
00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:47,100
- ...e um retardado...
- Nós nos dedicamos tanto!

14
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,100
Isso não pode esperar?

15
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:53,599
Ficar musculoso, não é?!

16
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:57,400
Você poderia ficar forte
colhendo morangos!

17
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,100
Agachando e puxando!
Como os mexicanos!

18
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,700
Merda, talvez eu poderia te conseguir
um emprego

19
00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:07,500
na United Fruit! Eu tenho um
amigo na United Fruit...

20
00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:09,250
Pode te ajudar a começar...

21
00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:10,999
Começar com morangos!

22
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,700
E se dedicar até chegar a
essas merdas de bananas!

23
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,900
Quando, garoto?

24
00:02:16,901 --> 00:02:18,499
Quando?

25
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,800
Você vai começar a agir normalmente?

26
00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:28,000
Oh, Deus Todo Poderoso...

27
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,750
Eu acho que ele é o Anti-Cristo!

28
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,300
Ei, eu quero conversar com você.

29
00:02:33,301 --> 00:02:34,799
Escute...

30
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,100
Não vire as costas enquanto eu
estiver falando com você!

31
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:41,800
Ou você consegue um trabalho
até o entardecer

32
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,400
ou nós te mandaremos para
a escola militar...

33
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,500
onde aquele merda do filho
dos Finkelstien está...

34
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,500
Filho de uma puta!

35
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,700
Bom dia Pedro!
Quer cortar o cabelo?

36
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,500
Ei, venha cá...

37
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,200
Senhor Pedro, o que você quer?

38
00:04:01,201 --> 00:04:02,199
Me empresta 1 dólar?

39
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,500
Oh, 1 dólar? Eu não tenho...

40
00:04:31,123 --> 00:04:35,589
CHEECH E CHONG
QUEIMANDO TUDO

41
00:06:04,696 --> 00:06:08,158
"Máquina do Amor"

42
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,500
Hum, e aí gatas, querem uma carona?

43
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,699
Nã...

In California, jobless hippie and stoner Anthony "Man" Stoner (Chong) is kicked out of his house by his rich and classy father. He drives off in his fathers car, which breaks down, and Anthony is left stranded near a beach, left to sleep in a ditch over night with his belongings.The next morning, Chicano stoner Pedo De Pacas (Cheech) sets off from his Mexican-family-house in his lowrider car looking for love with errands to run. Pedro drives along the beach where he tries to pick up ladies, and sees Anthony with melons stuffed under his shirt. Assuming that Anthony is a large-breasted woman, Pedro drives his car around and tries to pick "her" up, only to be horrified when he discovers Anthony is just a guy looking for a ride.Feeling bad (and liking that Anthony likes his car), Pedro gives Anthony a ride, just missing being caught by the police. While driving, the 2 take a liking to each other being that they both like smoking marijuana. Pedro offers Anthony a small joint, while Anthony shows Pedro a huge joint, made out of dog feces (being that the dog ate Anthony's stash). The 2 smoke the joint and get incredibly high, followed by Pedro accidentally swallowing a lot of acid. The car crashes into a light pole, and the 2 are arrested and the car towed away. In a small courtroom trial, the 2 are being prosecuted when Anthony, still high, begs for water. Pedro grabs some of the judge's "water" for Anthony, only to have Anthony spit it out, revealing it to actually be vodka. With the judge taken away, Pedro and Anthony are let off free.The next morning, after Anthony meets (and argues) with Pedro's band (being that Pedro is a guitarist/singer and Anthony is a drummer), the 2 set off to score some weed. However, the town is dry being that many people are smoking pot these days. The 2 visit Pedro's cousin Strawberry, who is a retired war veteran who is a little messed up in the head and has a large "birth mark" on his face. Anthony stays in Strawberry's messy apartment while Pedro and Strawberry go off on a motorcycle to get weed. While in the apartment, Anthony meets Strawberry's roommate, a cokehead who throws a large drug party in the apartment. Meanwhile, Strawberry has a war flash and loses his mind and jumps off the motorcycle, sending Pedro crashing. When he crashes, he sees cops hiding outside the apartment, ready to bust in and arrest the druggies at the party. Pedro tries to warn Anthony via phone, which is bugged, and the party is busted. Pedro infiltrates the bust dressed like a re-po man, claiming he's there to reposses the stuff. The cops buy the story, and Pedro rescues Anthony.After that, the 2 visit Pedro's friends' place where the 2 get stoned, but not so much being that the weed is bad. At that point, immigration busts in, being that Pedro's friends calling immigration on themselves to get a free ride to a wedding in Mexico. Of course, Pedro and Anthony, despite their efforts to hide, get caught and deported to Tijuana as well.While in Tijuana, Pedro calls his uncle and gets the address of a upholestry shop and arranges to pick up a van to drive back to America. But after getting fast food over the address, the 2 arrive at the wrong place- an upholestry shop which is actually a marijuana plant in disguise. The factory actually makes materials out of solid and liquid marijuana, which is then smuggled across the border. The marijuana-made things made there are worth up to $9 million, and is heavily watched by police, led by Sargeant Stedanko. Pedro and Anthony show up to the factory, unaware of what it really is, and say they're there to pick up "the van". Rather than getting an actual van, the stoners get a huge green van, made from marijuana, top to bottom. From the steering wheel, the tires, the doors, the gas tank, to the very structure of the van itself, its all made of pure solid and liquid marijuana- and the guys have no idea they're smuggling it into America.The stoners drive their marijuana van to the border where they're stopped by police. Anthony is smoking a joint, which he throws out the window into the window of a car full of nuns. Pedro and Anthony are almost caught, when the police discover the joint in the nuns' car. The car is taken away and the nuns searched and arrested by Sgt. Stadenko and his police officers. Unaware of what they did, the hippies drive through the border back into America in their van, stopping at the border patrol station so Anthony can use the restroom. In the restroom, Anthony pees next to Stadenko and accidentally "shakes himself dry" on the sargeant's leg before leaving.